requiem

My head hangs in shame.

I try to lift it – it rolls off and goes away rolling.

I am no body no head no entity. 

I am abandoned and alone – I may think myself – Supremum or Infimum or any me in between. Whatever I please; all is entirely my wish; and whenever I wish.

There shall be none any more.

There shall be none ever other than me. No one shall occupy my space; no Banalata Sen shall sit beside me without words gazing at me with eyes of infinite depth mutely asking 'where had I been?'.

There shall be none to whom I may sing a song of love again. 

no love.no option no preference.

no thought - beautiful intelligent original or repeating..

nameless meaningless

no pause no end

I command

OH, A LION HUNTER

IN THE JUNGLE DARK,

AND SLEEPING DRUNKARD

UP IN CENTRAL PARK,

AND A CHINESE DENTIST

AND A BRITISH QUEEN

ALL FIT TOGETHER

IN THE SAME MACHINE.

NICE, NICE,

SUCH VERY DIFFERENT

PEOPLE IN THE SAME

DEVICE!

- BOKONON

In a recent epic, Mahabharata, I sang two hundred thousand verses for the good of earthlings; Verses floated down the Falls on Earth and carried by the river, Daughter of None.

This epic started before time when there was no heaven, and ended after when there is no heaven and there is no time.

There never was any big/small bang anywhere – no cow boy lived to start any bang, nor had he any String to rope any or all theories proposed after that bang!

What was the color before there was any heaven or after any heaven – I did not ask but answered in the epic. My verses in the epic described all the time all the births all the lives and all the deaths. I also sang the 'verse of no option' - that one has to play precisely as per the verse without choice. That much is the flexibility one has with one's life and one's life’s ambition. ‘You may say all this’, one of my listener said, ‘since it is not your life, and I have to make a decision and it should be good enough reason for me to fight and exist'. (like weapons for mass destruction or Iranian nuclear bomb)

But there is no option to one's struggle for existence, one cares or not!

‘Discovery’ is launched and ejected me into space, I am interested to see the origin of universe as I described in my verse – the creator - without any theory - without any expectation of finding proof or existence of sub-atomic particle or any faith of any kind. I am already tie less and my absence shall not be discovered after I am no more.

Tie less I shall avoid getting tied up and if universe is limited, eventually I shall return to earth if universe is indeed so.

I have facilities in my module to create any atmosphere of my liking – day and night – shine or rain – spring or winter – day sky night sky – familiar sounds unfamiliar sounds – all voice control. I do not have to juggle around with any knobs or machinery. I can read and write – eat drink or fast – run swim bath or just relax in any surroundings all created in my module with infinite depth perception and real without feeling of any phobia of any kind. (unless I desire for phobia)

It may be a long voyage!

It is marvel of a machine. Any book or toy or any stimulant of any kind is waiting to be provided or withdrawn – I do not have to struggle to remember where they are – all are under my voice command control as per my need.

I commanded to the machine - no noise no sight no feelings no weight no nothing – remain tangential to all attraction from all bodies and I relax in my gravity less module. All is voice control there is no need for any kind of clock – time is what I say and it has no option to be otherwise and there is no need to be otherwise. Let now be 15008 years hence, co-ordinate be mid way milky way and Andromeda. There is none only me.

I watch my thoughts - pieces of spring cloud floating around and dissolving into the surrounding nothing. Thoughts are – do I have any physique – do I have senses – am I earthling – is there a module – where am I – what is tomorrow – what is any – what is many – what is the most lovely form – what is the most lovely thought – what is most enjoyable – what is joy?

I can have any of them via my voice command and I do not even have to speak or whisper - no desire for command can go unnoticed. My module is hyper-hyper sensitive. I may spend time as much and as long I want in most beautiful settings with the most beautiful partner (s) of my choice – all adoringly absorbed in conversation with me with full attention and feelings of love and indulgence – without interruption – without disruption.

Unless I wish to go back to the old world that I came from – that too is possible with my voice command – whatever is my wish.

What really is universe? What is nothing? Who is the creator?

All - universe, love, joy or nothing - fit into the module with space for more commands, only 3.5 lb of weight! The module is all ears and eyes watching me all the time - waiting to execute command to create the perception of PURE LOVE & JOY as per my exact specification.

I will - 'may my world always be fresh beautiful non-repeating real pure unlimited forever new with infinite depth of perception and endless ocean of indescribable joy and ecstasy; and none need know'

I will - void all including me and my command executor without exception without trace without remnant without legacy without delay

I will - absence of me and my will

I am past my time

It is not squaring circle that Greeks tried in vain. It is Golden Ratio – predictive as well as explains past till time zero. Greeks very easily divided a line into a and b such that a/b = b/(a+b). Afterwards they drew curve – it is spiral.

Before I heard Golden ratio, I was very attracted by this curve and I saw that in snail. Snails are addicted to Golden Ratio, they could not grow in any other way but to keep the shape same. It appears Palms too grow in the same screwed up fashion. Also Sunflower they too arrange the seed in the same manner to keep the shape and size of their seed same but increase the number or mass to stop fertilizer industry not going extinct.

I have done with my deeds as an intellectual – I do not predict prevent or explain anymore. Gone were the days, when I used to sing my stories in the air regarding - when time started, when time ended and all time in between. It is my old habit, when I spin my yarn, multiple threads start reeling off at the same time. I really wished to talk seriously this time about things more important than life longevity and death.

I have accomplished spectacular achievement as a bard, but I never wrote this before.

Long ago coinciding with time I was born. We are twins and appeared inseparable. None was first; we arrived at the same instant. We grew up together. One is TIME the other is me.

I had no body, when I was born. My time brother had it all. He was donating his body parts to me, ever since, one after another saying that I can’t do without them! I have so many organs now – eyes nose limbs tongue stomach head ears – usefulness of them I didn’t know till he revealed the same to me and showed me what is what. They were far too many; and I was becoming uncomfortable. I did not have them only sometime ago, and now they are important enough that I can’t be without them. Eyes I did not need, now require glasses to see well. Ears I did not need, require hear aids to hear better. Heart I never needed, makes me exercise now. All very important and I must look after them. I am vey fed up. I prepared for his departure and my freedom from utilities.

When Time came, I told him, 'enough is enough I do not any more need organs and I don’t care if they stay or go, and I don't need you'. Time told me, ‘you like it or not, you have in you a duplicating machine that does not require any repair; it can't be stopped; and it creates immortals. Even when all is gone, this machine of yours shall exist and I shall be recreated’.

I was never aware of this immortal Xerox machine that does not need paper toner, or repair. I have to just appreciate someone or something, it duplicates the same, dummy, but immortal!

It has already created volumes of useless dummies and they have no place to go and they live with me forever, EVEN WHEN THE ORIGINAL HAS GONE FOREVER. I have far too many dummies and I am suffocated and I need space.

Imagine many decades ago, I saw someone and I thought ‘let me spend some time with her’. It was so many years back that I would not recognize even if I meet her every day now. Alas, that someone like many more after that,  are now permanent resident in me and they are immortal! I may die but they shall never leave me alone. I am very squeezed.

If the above is pessimistic story of mine; I shall let you know a secret that none knows except me. While there may be many billion duplicates cramped up in me with trillion different opinions about what is good and what is bad for me and how life to be lived by me – THEY ARE ALL ME – THEY ARE MY DUPLICATES INCLUDING YOU WHO IS READING THIS.

I prevent no one - I prevent nothing.

I may do whatever I please. Can I do otherwise?
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There is no option for me but to perceive all (horrid, depressing, frightening, exciting, degrading, saddening, insulting, embarrassing) without exception as they are without any further thought or action. (I have come to this conclusion at least million times before in last 40 years, but could not stop 'doing'; instead I went on wrote, expecting to be glorified for my deeds. Contrary to what I must accomplish and stop preaching).
Every writing of mine degrades me in my own eyes as 'Empty Vessel Sounds Much' seeking cheap glory from book reading and talk.
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I need not be so frustrated by non-achievement.  I can't be nowhere else than where I am and can't be doing anything else than what I am doing - neither my position nor my deeds can't be improved upon. I shall be doing as much good to my world by observing silence or non-stop writing or talking the rest of my life. Do I have option when to keep quiet and when to speak? I have no option but to perceive all as they are - them includes all my thoughts and actions as much as anybody else.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Universe is 100% protected against my foolishness and or brightness. The universe is protected against any interference from anybody's foolishness and or brightness. The universe is protected against or their collective foolishness of the world and of all live worlds. If Universe has a course it can't be changed! I can best be myself and not anybody's or my reflection what I am or ought to be.
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Truth is neither hypothesis reflection derivation adaption or faith. It is life long observation by my own self.
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SOB MEIN HUN - MEIN THIK HUN - SOB THIK THAK HAI!

Mr. Wrong

Nothing happens!

No it is not that nothing happens but whatever happens it really does not matter - it does not make the next moment nor it changes any moment earlier to that event.

It is like pebble thrown into calm water - a drop in sound followed by few waves and then peace descends. Nothing changes - nothing not even me and that ever present witness!

That witness is just beyond the world, nothing can really happen if it is not there; but then all is coincidental. It never participates, it only sees, yet nothing can happen without its presence.

How odd?

If I believe, however there is no reason for any of my belief to be true, in cause and effect, nothing can really happen without a predecessor - then the ever present witness is cause or else all events are cause and the witness is their effect.

But who cares when all is what it is!

I am the great story teller, the greatest story maker, and the most extraordinary unparallel explainer of all events - I too fail to explain the relationship of world and events and this ever present witness.

I am totally irrelevant - ELLE BELLE - it does not matter what I think say or do. For all purpose - 'I am no more'. My life line tying me to the world has snapped - I am truly most random of all random variables without any distribution function and I am without any mass - no laws has any influence on me to chart my course! A dead grass has more substance than me.

I am free - absolutely free. What do I do with my freedom - enjoy or grieve?

He is Mr. Right. Mr. Right is always without saying thinking or doing and I am always wrong invariably without option despite my life time experience learning hard labor perseverance and exceptional intelligence.

I wish I am right at least once in my life time to break the monotony of being failure always!

What do I do now when I know that my interest is not protected ever and shall not be in time in the future either?

I am totally irrelevant.

Do I grieve or enjoy? I am very slow learner worse than Snail.

Mr. Right does not really get off my back. I grieve, he says it is right. I am happy, it says it all right.  I say I am irrelevant it say - yes you are right. I say I am most relevant and talking truth, he confirms as always.

When will I rid of him? He just looks on!

Delay shall no longer be tolerated

West was beating the old man mercilessly. Singh is a kind, the blue eyed boy of West especially USA in 2008 for nuclear deal did not benefit a single dollar invested on various ways into Indian economy by way of FDI. But the corruption in the Government that boiled down to common people did not result in any growth. All the money is entirely wasted, no goods and services is in anyway speaks of quality, all the euphoria that India shall compete any established player such as Korea China or Japan or with Vietnam Philippines and South American countries is not expected. The storage of educated labor too found to be empty talk not productive. Value of money eroded in USA Europe and elsewhere from this waste but India lost total trust. Those who could siphoned away money to Foreign Banks (and they west is very aware of their location and owner), they have done so without any change in the economic atmosphere for India. India is facing balance of payment in one hand, and arm twisting in the other to give away direct control to US that did not happen with Nuclear treaty. US truly needed direct control in India - they no longer think that it could wait. US has its own economic compulsion. Retails in USA is a huge burden to the economy. Retail workforce is semi..semi employed. They are temporary, without health benefit nor do they have any alternative employment. Employment generation virtually stopped with retails giant such as Walmarts. Since they no longer market anything US. Sooner than later US has no option but to squeeze them out of USA. At least it is true about Wal-Mart. e-market is steadily competing with retail business. It is often cheaper for ordinary American to avail Internet retail stores than Giant physical stores such as Walmart.

For anybody even to waste dud money India is not preferred market to invest. Balance of payment crisis that is staring India, is despite all the political talk of free market competition etc. India has long lost the strength of producing anything that speaks of honesty and quality. It is impossible to move any Indian to produce anything of value. Further the entire structure of management, bureaucracy, or governance never opt for profit through quality work instead profitability by use of Intelligence that is nothing but cheating. The case for economic stability in India can't happen with $2 billion investment per year. Indian soil is no longer that fertile. India no longer produces or promotes people of integrity.

The motto for Indians beg borrow and live. Steal as much you can but bury them future and do not invest.

Somehow this sub-continent is able to frustrate every ulterior motive of USA (creation of Gandhi Bhutto dynasty). ISI and SC in Pakistan playing foul; SC and CAG playing foul in India.

US is no better. With huge expense, 16 trillion dollar excess money, US has lost out in the race of technology supremacy. Apple ip** series of products or Curiosity Rover does not make US superior to Korea Japan China and many other places. US could not win any war in last 12 years even after huge loss. US does not the stomach to engage into war with any other country in near future. US is not going to fire a single bullet to Iran even if they make bomb and blast it in Persian Gulf or Arabian sea. Product company such as Google, Microsoft, Apple, Facebook have to be supported by US Government to keep in check money that is accumulating with middle class. Every four year if not earlier it has to be burnt to nothing via 401k.
Motto in USA is keep money printing going and keep middle class in check invoking stock market crash.

Dr. Samajhdar's house

I drove three believers to a $20 plus million house. The door was open and the house was in semi-darkness. There were some scattered shoes and snickers outside the door indicating that the ceremony was in progress. But where were they? After some exploration, the believers found a place at the corner of the house in the ground floor where some were huddled up in a dark room and making oscillating noise with voices and drums. Outside the room I settled into a sofa in a semi darkness. I tried to take the stock of the room. It had a pool table and a very large marble table with large marble chess pieces on it. I can't even play my solitary left versus right chess competition of equals to pass my time. My left hand shall not reach my black pieces when my right plays white. The next room is Gym, with lot of equipment and weights. The room beyond is a Theater, curtained stage and auditorium. The room beyond is some sort of a museum. The next is a library. Next is living room, followed by dinning room, and then a kitchen. The Kitchen is separated by wall to wall ceiling to floor double glass wall, beyond which is the swimming pool and spa. I stopped exploring. It is the basement. The noise was apparently coming from a room that is an indoor temple. I did not enter and I do not know the beliefs practiced there. First floor is all the bed rooms and guest rooms with required bathrooms and other facilities. Second floor is where possibly the family lived, husband and wife, a mother in law and two children not yet ten. I saw their photographs around me.
I went to sleep listening to the noise.
I was woken up; some body was talking to me. My room is lighted now and occupied by many. My sofa too had two other occupants. I was asked some question. I pretended innocence and avoided to answer. I waited to be fed. Shortly, everybody was asked to proceed towards kitchen for food (Maha-Prasadam - it was announced). My passengers called me along to finish my food. I followed them. The food was OK, little hot and spicy but I could do with it. I took enough, I did not wish to avail second helping. I searched for a place to sit down. I was about to finish my food when one of my passenger poured some honey in my plate saying those images in that temple started secreting holy honey. My eating stopped. I garbage my plate and left kitchen to sit down and sleep again. With miracles happening it would be several hours before I am required.
On the way back, I kept hearing about all the miracles of honey and ash abundantly falling off the images in that temple. My mind was preoccupied about mortgage amount for such a place. If my mortgage is $1000 then this ought to be $100,000 per month. It can't be less than $50,000 per month accepting that he is very smart - all those statue stone wares marbles and paintings! There was a huge alter arch made of solid wood covering a pair of marble staircases.
I was thinking why all these miracles required to happen when he is already rich and he is not even forty. He must be having four cars in the garage and they must be Mercedes of all variety - Sports Sedan SUV and Jeep - I was engrossed in thinking. Estimating his worth and my worthlessness.
I no longer seek answers. Some days passed. I received food that Gods ate time to time sitting at my home. Devil in me kept its antenna up for more news. I heard that some red material are too making appearance through those images. I thought loud, they must be blood!

Images are becoming live!

God is really wealthy here in this town. Within one year we have now two large temples. Cost of construction of each is above $10 million. The management did not have to borrow and they are stashed with money and running profitable business of God's holiness. The management committee are stuffed with finance, medical, management professionals. They designed many service packages and products what ever be your belief and problem. Problem solution amount vary to accommodate any purse. The amount you pay is tax free. The priests are sponsored and come from south of India. They also go home to home to do Puja at residence. They also sell franchise to establish new temple venture. They shall perform all the miracles till you have a settled business and rolling in money. Some of my acquaintances are in management committees.

Dr. Samajhdar's home is on the way to become pilgrimage with Images coming live!

I am no more