I am past my time

It is not squaring circle that Greeks tried in vain. It is Golden Ratio – predictive as well as explains past till time zero. Greeks very easily divided a line into a and b such that a/b = b/(a+b). Afterwards they drew curve – it is spiral.

Before I heard Golden ratio, I was very attracted by this curve and I saw that in snail. Snails are addicted to Golden Ratio, they could not grow in any other way but to keep the shape same. It appears Palms too grow in the same screwed up fashion. Also Sunflower they too arrange the seed in the same manner to keep the shape and size of their seed same but increase the number or mass to stop fertilizer industry not going extinct.

I have done with my deeds as an intellectual – I do not predict prevent or explain anymore. Gone were the days, when I used to sing my stories in the air regarding - when time started, when time ended and all time in between. It is my old habit, when I spin my yarn, multiple threads start reeling off at the same time. I really wished to talk seriously this time about things more important than life longevity and death.

I have accomplished spectacular achievement as a bard, but I never wrote this before.

Long ago coinciding with time I was born. We are twins and appeared inseparable. None was first; we arrived at the same instant. We grew up together. One is TIME the other is me.

I had no body, when I was born. My time brother had it all. He was donating his body parts to me, ever since, one after another saying that I can’t do without them! I have so many organs now – eyes nose limbs tongue stomach head ears – usefulness of them I didn’t know till he revealed the same to me and showed me what is what. They were far too many; and I was becoming uncomfortable. I did not have them only sometime ago, and now they are important enough that I can’t be without them. Eyes I did not need, now require glasses to see well. Ears I did not need, require hear aids to hear better. Heart I never needed, makes me exercise now. All very important and I must look after them. I am vey fed up. I prepared for his departure and my freedom from utilities.

When Time came, I told him, 'enough is enough I do not any more need organs and I don’t care if they stay or go, and I don't need you'. Time told me, ‘you like it or not, you have in you a duplicating machine that does not require any repair; it can't be stopped; and it creates immortals. Even when all is gone, this machine of yours shall exist and I shall be recreated’.

I was never aware of this immortal Xerox machine that does not need paper toner, or repair. I have to just appreciate someone or something, it duplicates the same, dummy, but immortal!

It has already created volumes of useless dummies and they have no place to go and they live with me forever, EVEN WHEN THE ORIGINAL HAS GONE FOREVER. I have far too many dummies and I am suffocated and I need space.

Imagine many decades ago, I saw someone and I thought ‘let me spend some time with her’. It was so many years back that I would not recognize even if I meet her every day now. Alas, that someone like many more after that,  are now permanent resident in me and they are immortal! I may die but they shall never leave me alone. I am very squeezed.

If the above is pessimistic story of mine; I shall let you know a secret that none knows except me. While there may be many billion duplicates cramped up in me with trillion different opinions about what is good and what is bad for me and how life to be lived by me – THEY ARE ALL ME – THEY ARE MY DUPLICATES INCLUDING YOU WHO IS READING THIS.

I prevent no one - I prevent nothing.

I may do whatever I please. Can I do otherwise?
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There is no option for me but to perceive all (horrid, depressing, frightening, exciting, degrading, saddening, insulting, embarrassing) without exception as they are without any further thought or action. (I have come to this conclusion at least million times before in last 40 years, but could not stop 'doing'; instead I went on wrote, expecting to be glorified for my deeds. Contrary to what I must accomplish and stop preaching).
Every writing of mine degrades me in my own eyes as 'Empty Vessel Sounds Much' seeking cheap glory from book reading and talk.
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I need not be so frustrated by non-achievement.  I can't be nowhere else than where I am and can't be doing anything else than what I am doing - neither my position nor my deeds can't be improved upon. I shall be doing as much good to my world by observing silence or non-stop writing or talking the rest of my life. Do I have option when to keep quiet and when to speak? I have no option but to perceive all as they are - them includes all my thoughts and actions as much as anybody else.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Universe is 100% protected against my foolishness and or brightness. The universe is protected against any interference from anybody's foolishness and or brightness. The universe is protected against or their collective foolishness of the world and of all live worlds. If Universe has a course it can't be changed! I can best be myself and not anybody's or my reflection what I am or ought to be.
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Truth is neither hypothesis reflection derivation adaption or faith. It is life long observation by my own self.
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SOB MEIN HUN - MEIN THIK HUN - SOB THIK THAK HAI!