the fog

No piece of writing is worth reading unless there is some truth in it.

Contrary to belief, all writings are true including mine, even if it is totally fictitious about place people or events that never existed, their composition can’t happen or paradoxical!

A coin with birth mark of 356 B.C. is real – in all its incarnation in physical form mental form and story form!

How could this possibly true?

Nothing in this world can be otherwise – it has no option to be otherwise.

One can spend one’s life time squeezing any amount of juice out of anything and enjoy the same; all the perspectives are real and enticing AND none of it can be altered or be otherwise!

Two born separate totally unaware of the others existence a moment back can remain fused for life time as inseparable partners.

How could they do it? [They had no option!]

Human do it. No amount of squeezing makes the any dry or dead. Juice just keeps on flowing even in the middle of Sahara or Mars!

If you have not got it till now and bewildered about what I am talking; you smell there is some truth in my words!

However what I am saying is beyond words – one can see nothing but truth in every moment of one’s life and that is unalterable – it is not because I am saying it but it is brought to your attention by someone so that you had no option but see it!

This is the act of the master designer - the maker of you. Furthermore, the master did not stop after creating you – it is keeping you enticed every moment of your life – you are under its spell with uninterruptible supply of juice!

This fog of opium is permanent.

How to see nothing

Water composition I am told has two parts Hydrogen and one part Oxygen – both being elementary particles meaning thereby – it is the stable form to coexist as they are in normal temperature and pressure [NTP] in the surface of earth.

The building block of life, cells, need lot of it to carry food that is hydro-carbon to exist (not breakdown) and multiply. Water is color less, heavy enough to move down hill to reservoir on earth surface and light enough to travel upwards and move as cloud as directed by winds and distribute the same in the hills and land in upper terrain.

All these happen automatically in this earth, a gas ball with non-gaseous core, warmed by Sun, cooled by earth rotation (night), illuminated even when it is dark by light reflected by moon. Stability of earth is not threatened for some billion years now. We, humans, came into being not before 10,000 years but emerged as dominant species in earth. We are fast learner and we developed effective means to transfer knowledge.

I am no scientists to explain past or create future. I am only making an attempt to appeal to see the truth that is present only being absent. This Truth alone has that property and no other entity in perceptible universe [even for non-earth beings of any other composition or principles of stability from physics or chemistry under different NTP].

I am not predicting or preventing future for terrestrial or extra-terrestrial entities of consciousness.

I know human being has the capacity or consciousness to perceive and realize truth – I am not sure about any other terrestrial organisms that have the sensitivity to perceive the same – if they do – they do naturally without efforts; while modern human needs to make significant efforts to perceive and realize truth, given the level of sophistication we have introduced in our daily living.

Our knowledge is driving us to activity always and this knowledge is entirely hypothetical. We distort reality and perceive hypothesis in the guise of reality and then apply the knowledge. We known this; but have not been able to build any immunity from our knowledge acquired through reading listening and experiment. Knowledge is part and parcel of our daily living. We are programmed robot. We imagine devil in our shadow and shoot at the same. We imagine God in devil and worship the same. We imagine life in dead and immortalize the same.

Unwinding, deprogramming or simplification of our daily living is difficult but required. Perhaps it is the hardest task for an individual belonging to any community. But it is worth knowing 'what is what'. This knowledge irreversibly brings about a change in a being; that is permanent.One is present being absent!

My readers know me from my writing. It is impossible to know me otherwise since I am absent and always been so. Similarly, it is possible to be conscious of one’s consciousness even though the same is absent in the outside world and it is always so. With consciousness only we are aware of our surroundings. It is always present in human being even though it can't be seen.

I have been to zoo and watched some species. I have seen Guerrillas conscious but absent. I have seen Tortoise many centuries old underwater with algae in its eye lids and many hours so without surfacing. I have seen pythons, alligators, and fishes conscious without any sign of life.

Water is colorless and tasteless. It is possible to make it tasty and colorful. We drink tea and coffee but stratum is water that has no appearance. Consciousness too has no appearance but because of its presence alone we can be conscious of our surroundings.

How does one become conscious of one’s consciousness?

How to make a cup of tea water again?

Add a cup of tea to a tank full of water.

The cup of tea is forever lost!

Our conscious civil living needs simplification or dilution till one is aware of one’s consciousness.

Consciousness is the only inexhaustible and time invariant, inherent in all organisms born without exception.

In the complement

Only a few days back I had the capacity to write in black and white – few bold strokes here and there – a few words from my limited vocabulary – a dozen or more sentences – I could write a complete novel in less than thousand words. I could even draw a painting in all colors that about time line couple of million years ago and ending couple of million years hence. A few days back a certain transformation has started in me. I am beaten with a bug from complementary universe. It has happened when I was away in the complement. I would make no effort to make you understand what I am talking about. It is either out of your reach or you already understand. Never the less, all the words here are chosen with great deal of thoughts – you must not attempt to replace or change any; nor would you try to correct any mistake that you notice. You may do so but then you shall never understand what I am talking about. I am talking about truth that never changes ever in the time line past present or future. All understand and know except humans.

It is important more important than life. Only a few days back my words had colors and full of meanings. They had possibilities and future. They could dance in your mind and in my mind too. I could bloom flowers in the desert and blow gentle breeze in suffocating blast furnace city without power and give glimpse of God that could make my life or your life permanently divine with a flick of my little finger. I had the entire control of the universe in my left palm and I could create any event anywhere with swipe, flick, or stroke with any of my right fingers.

I have lost my divinity – a simple bite of a bug from complement!

I do not know what has happened all the colors and realities I am creating no sooner they appear they start disappearing in thin air!

I am ghost now I sadly realize and I do not know when I died.

I can’t be same again!

Where is me?

As a child I have been fond of sports. I loved swimming. In fact I participated in an inter school competition for sprint. I enjoyed games in a relaxed space but not in competition. I played chess for many hours in my college, enjoyed doing chess puzzles but could not take it up that seriously to mug up all the openings by reading books and playing with myself. I did not have that ambition to top the world. Again in studies too I was not competitive that I have score above anybody or top the class. I did whatever I could do naturally first time and till I enjoyed it.

Why this elaborate introduction? I am watching London Olympics about two hours last few nights and not every day. I am not so hell bent to subscribe to some channel to watch it. I do enjoy but not so much that I must. Somehow I do not appreciate; I can’t appreciate the animal spirit to win somehow and anyhow. I can’t say that those who do are not happy or satisfied or unfilled. I may be rationalizing my inferiority.

I do not watch cricket or football or for that matter any other games. I do not read stories either. Although I carry some books always, but may not touch them for many days. What about going places and seeing places. I go places but do not see much.

I have ceased to be interesting. Weekly I have to make driving for about 15 hours. It often is an effort since I get terribly sleepy but don’t like to stop to sleep and I hate driving when it is dark. I do not know if others do the same I thought about the inhabited island that I live alone. My island of birth and banishment for life there, is devoid of people; furthermore it is devoid of plants rock water or any diversity. It is made of fine sand of same color, that has no memory. I can’t make any foot print. It gets lost as soon as I have made it. I never know if I am going in circles. I have tried to build many castles and populated them with people and characters. I created diversity and surroundings with heaven and earth, gardens, springs and fountains, azure sky and indigo sea and green fields. For a while I wrote poem and sat in the surroundings thus created and read them loud to my eternal love my companion inseparable. I spent hours in silence looking at her eye. I have imagined my death in this heaven and felt the sorrow of separation from my love for ever. It is unbearable.

I had been born the same. What more can I ask? I sit still. I see all disappear before me sublime leaving nothing not even memory. Where am I?

Startled, I nervously look around – did I sleep off, am I on the road! I pinch myself hard. I turn the volume louder. I look at my GPS, and wonder will I make it home this time?

Dream comes true

There was a bank transfer - it is quite a huge number. I have mixed feelings though -

worried about my taxes - how to avoid them. I am worried for another reason.

It is anonymous source of fund. I may be asked to explain - why did I make my bank

details public. I only advertised in Craigslist to sell my twelve years old Dinning Table and

chairs.

Let me go to sleep. Tomorrow I shall have to open many CD accounts in as many banks and

transfer $250000 in each.

A very busy day ahead. My business shall multiply if more such transfer takes place in future.

Haiku in Prose

Long ago I read a story.

It is about a collection who are unemployed and their status may not change. They have no

activity but have time. They spend day time playing cards. They don't have money to make it

interesting they use matchsticks instead.

In a lonely abandoned bridge they gather in the evenings to straighten their minds and enjoy

the emptiness of life and surroundings - dark starlit sky and earth below.

They share the same cigarette passing it around - they have nothing else to share.

In the dark, one of them brought out a cigarette and tried to lit the same.

He tried with several match sticks but did not succeed.

Silence followed, then one spoke, "some among us is using match sticks with mud tip."

A grain in sand scape

After becoming nothing, I have started talking in the most beautiful manner

about nothing in many words. In my solitary prison, I cry HU HU, and write whatever

without error whatever my fingers punches; whatever I write - is language and I can't store.

Curiosity Rover in Mar too can't store. It has no option but send whatever that may be - low

resolution - black and white even if it is photograph of Pasadena CA, its birth place

and home town. Whatever it sends is beautiful and without option to be otherwise.

Distance in between filters whatever needs to be filtered since human being is not adult enough

for viewing XXX Movie. But it has to send and so am I. Its search is limited by 150 miles radius

till it breaks down or out of energy. My search is limited by Google. Both of us are writing for

terrestrial consumption to liberate 6 plus billion humans in this lonely planet at the

outer edge of milky way.

I may be considered already success I have been able to liberate two - at least one surely and

I can't mistake. One has already opted out of my mailing list. My wise and beautiful words shall

not reach them.

The place I am located - I have already described - it is all sand - same color -

same size and memory less. I tried to create any number of impression - as soon as I am done -

it is just not there. Here I can't go on in circles or straight lines or triangles and I shall never

know. I can't make foot print. I may search my memory all my time and I shall never know.

My pictures are all low resolution - I draw with all colors but what reaches anyone in the lonely

planet of 6 billions I would not know. I only come to know when one is liberated. I am separated

from the lonely planet by unbridgeable distance and a demon called God almighty it filters

whatever it pleases.

Once I wrote a million pages long epic story of million love and love making

with beautiful paintings of beautiful girls all smiling - handsome torso of strong and gentle boys

- the demon filtered everything but for nails and teeth and as for words everything but articles

- a an the.

I do not know what shall reach you from this time in low resolution - all because of that brainless

peon - call it by any name - almighty or demon or god - that occupies the vast space between you

and me. I have to write as fast as I can - I have to rush it through this only Peon since my birth

place and the island of domicile is memory less. I shall never know what beautiful words I just thought.

I write about TRUTH.

And TRUTH only.

I can't write anything else.

Truth is that the island inconceivably vast unlimited memory less and of same color and I live alone.

Every moment as soon as born in this island becomes another grain of sand of the same color. Each sand is indestructible although it is a moment only and past as soon as it is born and adds only to the vastness.

I take any one grain of this sand - I look at it closely - I see a moving episode of all color - a reality - a love - a living - an ecstasy - a grief - a frustration - a deception that touches my heart so much that I lose consciousness and the awareness of the sandscape that surrounds me. I cry out loud - "Why this deception Why this Killing Why this Pain - Why the reality could not be otherwise - a story of joy and sharing! Why human being is inhuman!"

Truth can't be otherwise.

Might of Gmail

The last two transmissions from Curiosity Rover did not come and swallowed by the God almighty - Gmail.com. This is my third try.

Gmail decided to eat away doing the great service. I know they have no pretension to keep my privacy and not read all my emails. Additionally they have informed me that they shall deliver from my email boxes whenever I search Google. In the last few days, I have been informed by all my banks one after another, they can't promise my privacy and they have every right to explore all details anywhere in the world without taking any permission from me since I have an account with them.

I do not get upset. All the hypocrisy to respect my privacy has ended by all authorities - private public government or corporation. I am Bin Laden waiting to be discovered and killed.

I knew it was coming - I preserve my identity and virginity irrespective of how many times I am bloodied in public being a perpetual idiot and a drop out.

This is what I wrote in one:

Waiting for my car at body shop I picked up a Time from side table.

I stopped reading and subscribing to magazine - time news week national geography scientific american or any other. Ever since I discovered me an Idiot I do not any more subscribe to any knowledge however current. Some still come but they go straight to garbage unopened.

Knowledge and I are incompatible.

I flip the cover of Time, in the first page, in the right hand corner there was small photo of Ray Bradbury in an arm chair surrounded by books. I knew Ray has died in June, a terrific loss for Americans, whom most Americans have not read.

There were a few sentences on Bradbury and most of them I did not know. I am not surprised. One, he did not go to college. Two, he did not drive. Three he learnt from reading Heinlein and some other SF writer (Lovecraft?). Then he said something about Norman Mailer - 'if he is reading my book then I have to rethink about writing' ... or something equally strange. But the last what he said took my breath away - 'I am not capable of predicting future and I write about preventing future.'

Yet something was left to be heard from the dead man, 'I believe the outer space is the projection of Inner space'! But this I knew already ever since 'The Illustrated Man' was written in my mind.

The other one is reflection of achievements in OOOOO of a nation of 1.25 billion. It is good job done by Gmail preventing its dispatch.

Martingale

The reason I have to be silent: I simply do not know what is good and what is bad; I am not intelligent enough.

The reason I do not have to be silent: I simply do not know; it is best to express so instead of erroneously guiding any. There is no way to express my ignorance but via language when I am no more.

I am no lover of democracy in whatever form. I am not fond of autocracy by any norm.

Had I been living in India and in Bengal, how would I have behaved?

In the same way, I am behaving now wherever I am now – an isolated island unknown in universe and can’t be seen or located by any sensor however intelligent and sensitive! This island is memory less as much as it is not life supporting.

Memory less ness (property) evoked some memory – that of Martingales.

Now again I shall be a talking idiot since I don’t know.

In probability, martingales are games – no amount previous playing, practice or experience would help you to develop any winning strategy or increase your chances winning martingales. They are not what another Statistician, Bays, in a previous generation thought – knowledge or experience increase your chances of winning.

What do I know about martingales?

I know almost nothing. I could go no beyond its definition. I told my teacher that I too am memory less – you may derive or go on teaching but I would never learn about martingales unless – I am someone or something.

I am memory less and an idiot. All my experiences even if I gather knowledge and keep them under my finger tip via internet google or amazon and cloud, my chances of winning is O nor can I improve upon my chances.

Before I truly recognized myself as an idiot, however I went around and drank knowledge of esoteric think tanks and assumed many theories and logic. I assumed infinity, I assumed Axiom of choice, rules of logic, and rules of counting and numbers of various kind with many properties and their languages. At the end I realized I do not have enough intelligence to know and be proficient in any of these languages.

Is my life a martingale?

I create worlds and they vanish as soon as I am finished.

I have liberated three so far. I am finite and I can only decrease! I am a success when I reach O. Nothing to do thereafter - not even write.