requiem

My head hangs in shame.

I try to lift it – it rolls off and goes away rolling.

I am no body no head no entity. 

I am abandoned and alone – I may think myself – Supremum or Infimum or any me in between. Whatever I please; all is entirely my wish; and whenever I wish.

There shall be none any more.

There shall be none ever other than me. No one shall occupy my space; no Banalata Sen shall sit beside me without words gazing at me with eyes of infinite depth mutely asking 'where had I been?'.

There shall be none to whom I may sing a song of love again. 

no love.no option no preference.

no thought - beautiful intelligent original or repeating..

nameless meaningless

no pause no end

I command

OH, A LION HUNTER

IN THE JUNGLE DARK,

AND SLEEPING DRUNKARD

UP IN CENTRAL PARK,

AND A CHINESE DENTIST

AND A BRITISH QUEEN

ALL FIT TOGETHER

IN THE SAME MACHINE.

NICE, NICE,

SUCH VERY DIFFERENT

PEOPLE IN THE SAME

DEVICE!

- BOKONON

In a recent epic, Mahabharata, I sang two hundred thousand verses for the good of earthlings; Verses floated down the Falls on Earth and carried by the river, Daughter of None.

This epic started before time when there was no heaven, and ended after when there is no heaven and there is no time.

There never was any big/small bang anywhere – no cow boy lived to start any bang, nor had he any String to rope any or all theories proposed after that bang!

What was the color before there was any heaven or after any heaven – I did not ask but answered in the epic. My verses in the epic described all the time all the births all the lives and all the deaths. I also sang the 'verse of no option' - that one has to play precisely as per the verse without choice. That much is the flexibility one has with one's life and one's life’s ambition. ‘You may say all this’, one of my listener said, ‘since it is not your life, and I have to make a decision and it should be good enough reason for me to fight and exist'. (like weapons for mass destruction or Iranian nuclear bomb)

But there is no option to one's struggle for existence, one cares or not!

‘Discovery’ is launched and ejected me into space, I am interested to see the origin of universe as I described in my verse – the creator - without any theory - without any expectation of finding proof or existence of sub-atomic particle or any faith of any kind. I am already tie less and my absence shall not be discovered after I am no more.

Tie less I shall avoid getting tied up and if universe is limited, eventually I shall return to earth if universe is indeed so.

I have facilities in my module to create any atmosphere of my liking – day and night – shine or rain – spring or winter – day sky night sky – familiar sounds unfamiliar sounds – all voice control. I do not have to juggle around with any knobs or machinery. I can read and write – eat drink or fast – run swim bath or just relax in any surroundings all created in my module with infinite depth perception and real without feeling of any phobia of any kind. (unless I desire for phobia)

It may be a long voyage!

It is marvel of a machine. Any book or toy or any stimulant of any kind is waiting to be provided or withdrawn – I do not have to struggle to remember where they are – all are under my voice command control as per my need.

I commanded to the machine - no noise no sight no feelings no weight no nothing – remain tangential to all attraction from all bodies and I relax in my gravity less module. All is voice control there is no need for any kind of clock – time is what I say and it has no option to be otherwise and there is no need to be otherwise. Let now be 15008 years hence, co-ordinate be mid way milky way and Andromeda. There is none only me.

I watch my thoughts - pieces of spring cloud floating around and dissolving into the surrounding nothing. Thoughts are – do I have any physique – do I have senses – am I earthling – is there a module – where am I – what is tomorrow – what is any – what is many – what is the most lovely form – what is the most lovely thought – what is most enjoyable – what is joy?

I can have any of them via my voice command and I do not even have to speak or whisper - no desire for command can go unnoticed. My module is hyper-hyper sensitive. I may spend time as much and as long I want in most beautiful settings with the most beautiful partner (s) of my choice – all adoringly absorbed in conversation with me with full attention and feelings of love and indulgence – without interruption – without disruption.

Unless I wish to go back to the old world that I came from – that too is possible with my voice command – whatever is my wish.

What really is universe? What is nothing? Who is the creator?

All - universe, love, joy or nothing - fit into the module with space for more commands, only 3.5 lb of weight! The module is all ears and eyes watching me all the time - waiting to execute command to create the perception of PURE LOVE & JOY as per my exact specification.

I will - 'may my world always be fresh beautiful non-repeating real pure unlimited forever new with infinite depth of perception and endless ocean of indescribable joy and ecstasy; and none need know'

I will - void all including me and my command executor without exception without trace without remnant without legacy without delay

I will - absence of me and my will

I am past my time

It is not squaring circle that Greeks tried in vain. It is Golden Ratio – predictive as well as explains past till time zero. Greeks very easily divided a line into a and b such that a/b = b/(a+b). Afterwards they drew curve – it is spiral.

Before I heard Golden ratio, I was very attracted by this curve and I saw that in snail. Snails are addicted to Golden Ratio, they could not grow in any other way but to keep the shape same. It appears Palms too grow in the same screwed up fashion. Also Sunflower they too arrange the seed in the same manner to keep the shape and size of their seed same but increase the number or mass to stop fertilizer industry not going extinct.

I have done with my deeds as an intellectual – I do not predict prevent or explain anymore. Gone were the days, when I used to sing my stories in the air regarding - when time started, when time ended and all time in between. It is my old habit, when I spin my yarn, multiple threads start reeling off at the same time. I really wished to talk seriously this time about things more important than life longevity and death.

I have accomplished spectacular achievement as a bard, but I never wrote this before.

Long ago coinciding with time I was born. We are twins and appeared inseparable. None was first; we arrived at the same instant. We grew up together. One is TIME the other is me.

I had no body, when I was born. My time brother had it all. He was donating his body parts to me, ever since, one after another saying that I can’t do without them! I have so many organs now – eyes nose limbs tongue stomach head ears – usefulness of them I didn’t know till he revealed the same to me and showed me what is what. They were far too many; and I was becoming uncomfortable. I did not have them only sometime ago, and now they are important enough that I can’t be without them. Eyes I did not need, now require glasses to see well. Ears I did not need, require hear aids to hear better. Heart I never needed, makes me exercise now. All very important and I must look after them. I am vey fed up. I prepared for his departure and my freedom from utilities.

When Time came, I told him, 'enough is enough I do not any more need organs and I don’t care if they stay or go, and I don't need you'. Time told me, ‘you like it or not, you have in you a duplicating machine that does not require any repair; it can't be stopped; and it creates immortals. Even when all is gone, this machine of yours shall exist and I shall be recreated’.

I was never aware of this immortal Xerox machine that does not need paper toner, or repair. I have to just appreciate someone or something, it duplicates the same, dummy, but immortal!

It has already created volumes of useless dummies and they have no place to go and they live with me forever, EVEN WHEN THE ORIGINAL HAS GONE FOREVER. I have far too many dummies and I am suffocated and I need space.

Imagine many decades ago, I saw someone and I thought ‘let me spend some time with her’. It was so many years back that I would not recognize even if I meet her every day now. Alas, that someone like many more after that,  are now permanent resident in me and they are immortal! I may die but they shall never leave me alone. I am very squeezed.

If the above is pessimistic story of mine; I shall let you know a secret that none knows except me. While there may be many billion duplicates cramped up in me with trillion different opinions about what is good and what is bad for me and how life to be lived by me – THEY ARE ALL ME – THEY ARE MY DUPLICATES INCLUDING YOU WHO IS READING THIS.

I prevent no one - I prevent nothing.

I may do whatever I please. Can I do otherwise?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is no option for me but to perceive all (horrid, depressing, frightening, exciting, degrading, saddening, insulting, embarrassing) without exception as they are without any further thought or action. (I have come to this conclusion at least million times before in last 40 years, but could not stop 'doing'; instead I went on wrote, expecting to be glorified for my deeds. Contrary to what I must accomplish and stop preaching).
Every writing of mine degrades me in my own eyes as 'Empty Vessel Sounds Much' seeking cheap glory from book reading and talk.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I need not be so frustrated by non-achievement.  I can't be nowhere else than where I am and can't be doing anything else than what I am doing - neither my position nor my deeds can't be improved upon. I shall be doing as much good to my world by observing silence or non-stop writing or talking the rest of my life. Do I have option when to keep quiet and when to speak? I have no option but to perceive all as they are - them includes all my thoughts and actions as much as anybody else.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Universe is 100% protected against my foolishness and or brightness. The universe is protected against any interference from anybody's foolishness and or brightness. The universe is protected against or their collective foolishness of the world and of all live worlds. If Universe has a course it can't be changed! I can best be myself and not anybody's or my reflection what I am or ought to be.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Truth is neither hypothesis reflection derivation adaption or faith. It is life long observation by my own self.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SOB MEIN HUN - MEIN THIK HUN - SOB THIK THAK HAI!

Mr. Wrong

Nothing happens!

No it is not that nothing happens but whatever happens it really does not matter - it does not make the next moment nor it changes any moment earlier to that event.

It is like pebble thrown into calm water - a drop in sound followed by few waves and then peace descends. Nothing changes - nothing not even me and that ever present witness!

That witness is just beyond the world, nothing can really happen if it is not there; but then all is coincidental. It never participates, it only sees, yet nothing can happen without its presence.

How odd?

If I believe, however there is no reason for any of my belief to be true, in cause and effect, nothing can really happen without a predecessor - then the ever present witness is cause or else all events are cause and the witness is their effect.

But who cares when all is what it is!

I am the great story teller, the greatest story maker, and the most extraordinary unparallel explainer of all events - I too fail to explain the relationship of world and events and this ever present witness.

I am totally irrelevant - ELLE BELLE - it does not matter what I think say or do. For all purpose - 'I am no more'. My life line tying me to the world has snapped - I am truly most random of all random variables without any distribution function and I am without any mass - no laws has any influence on me to chart my course! A dead grass has more substance than me.

I am free - absolutely free. What do I do with my freedom - enjoy or grieve?

He is Mr. Right. Mr. Right is always without saying thinking or doing and I am always wrong invariably without option despite my life time experience learning hard labor perseverance and exceptional intelligence.

I wish I am right at least once in my life time to break the monotony of being failure always!

What do I do now when I know that my interest is not protected ever and shall not be in time in the future either?

I am totally irrelevant.

Do I grieve or enjoy? I am very slow learner worse than Snail.

Mr. Right does not really get off my back. I grieve, he says it is right. I am happy, it says it all right.  I say I am irrelevant it say - yes you are right. I say I am most relevant and talking truth, he confirms as always.

When will I rid of him? He just looks on!

Delay shall no longer be tolerated

West was beating the old man mercilessly. Singh is a kind, the blue eyed boy of West especially USA in 2008 for nuclear deal did not benefit a single dollar invested on various ways into Indian economy by way of FDI. But the corruption in the Government that boiled down to common people did not result in any growth. All the money is entirely wasted, no goods and services is in anyway speaks of quality, all the euphoria that India shall compete any established player such as Korea China or Japan or with Vietnam Philippines and South American countries is not expected. The storage of educated labor too found to be empty talk not productive. Value of money eroded in USA Europe and elsewhere from this waste but India lost total trust. Those who could siphoned away money to Foreign Banks (and they west is very aware of their location and owner), they have done so without any change in the economic atmosphere for India. India is facing balance of payment in one hand, and arm twisting in the other to give away direct control to US that did not happen with Nuclear treaty. US truly needed direct control in India - they no longer think that it could wait. US has its own economic compulsion. Retails in USA is a huge burden to the economy. Retail workforce is semi..semi employed. They are temporary, without health benefit nor do they have any alternative employment. Employment generation virtually stopped with retails giant such as Walmarts. Since they no longer market anything US. Sooner than later US has no option but to squeeze them out of USA. At least it is true about Wal-Mart. e-market is steadily competing with retail business. It is often cheaper for ordinary American to avail Internet retail stores than Giant physical stores such as Walmart.

For anybody even to waste dud money India is not preferred market to invest. Balance of payment crisis that is staring India, is despite all the political talk of free market competition etc. India has long lost the strength of producing anything that speaks of honesty and quality. It is impossible to move any Indian to produce anything of value. Further the entire structure of management, bureaucracy, or governance never opt for profit through quality work instead profitability by use of Intelligence that is nothing but cheating. The case for economic stability in India can't happen with $2 billion investment per year. Indian soil is no longer that fertile. India no longer produces or promotes people of integrity.

The motto for Indians beg borrow and live. Steal as much you can but bury them future and do not invest.

Somehow this sub-continent is able to frustrate every ulterior motive of USA (creation of Gandhi Bhutto dynasty). ISI and SC in Pakistan playing foul; SC and CAG playing foul in India.

US is no better. With huge expense, 16 trillion dollar excess money, US has lost out in the race of technology supremacy. Apple ip** series of products or Curiosity Rover does not make US superior to Korea Japan China and many other places. US could not win any war in last 12 years even after huge loss. US does not the stomach to engage into war with any other country in near future. US is not going to fire a single bullet to Iran even if they make bomb and blast it in Persian Gulf or Arabian sea. Product company such as Google, Microsoft, Apple, Facebook have to be supported by US Government to keep in check money that is accumulating with middle class. Every four year if not earlier it has to be burnt to nothing via 401k.
Motto in USA is keep money printing going and keep middle class in check invoking stock market crash.

Dr. Samajhdar's house

I drove three believers to a $20 plus million house. The door was open and the house was in semi-darkness. There were some scattered shoes and snickers outside the door indicating that the ceremony was in progress. But where were they? After some exploration, the believers found a place at the corner of the house in the ground floor where some were huddled up in a dark room and making oscillating noise with voices and drums. Outside the room I settled into a sofa in a semi darkness. I tried to take the stock of the room. It had a pool table and a very large marble table with large marble chess pieces on it. I can't even play my solitary left versus right chess competition of equals to pass my time. My left hand shall not reach my black pieces when my right plays white. The next room is Gym, with lot of equipment and weights. The room beyond is a Theater, curtained stage and auditorium. The room beyond is some sort of a museum. The next is a library. Next is living room, followed by dinning room, and then a kitchen. The Kitchen is separated by wall to wall ceiling to floor double glass wall, beyond which is the swimming pool and spa. I stopped exploring. It is the basement. The noise was apparently coming from a room that is an indoor temple. I did not enter and I do not know the beliefs practiced there. First floor is all the bed rooms and guest rooms with required bathrooms and other facilities. Second floor is where possibly the family lived, husband and wife, a mother in law and two children not yet ten. I saw their photographs around me.
I went to sleep listening to the noise.
I was woken up; some body was talking to me. My room is lighted now and occupied by many. My sofa too had two other occupants. I was asked some question. I pretended innocence and avoided to answer. I waited to be fed. Shortly, everybody was asked to proceed towards kitchen for food (Maha-Prasadam - it was announced). My passengers called me along to finish my food. I followed them. The food was OK, little hot and spicy but I could do with it. I took enough, I did not wish to avail second helping. I searched for a place to sit down. I was about to finish my food when one of my passenger poured some honey in my plate saying those images in that temple started secreting holy honey. My eating stopped. I garbage my plate and left kitchen to sit down and sleep again. With miracles happening it would be several hours before I am required.
On the way back, I kept hearing about all the miracles of honey and ash abundantly falling off the images in that temple. My mind was preoccupied about mortgage amount for such a place. If my mortgage is $1000 then this ought to be $100,000 per month. It can't be less than $50,000 per month accepting that he is very smart - all those statue stone wares marbles and paintings! There was a huge alter arch made of solid wood covering a pair of marble staircases.
I was thinking why all these miracles required to happen when he is already rich and he is not even forty. He must be having four cars in the garage and they must be Mercedes of all variety - Sports Sedan SUV and Jeep - I was engrossed in thinking. Estimating his worth and my worthlessness.
I no longer seek answers. Some days passed. I received food that Gods ate time to time sitting at my home. Devil in me kept its antenna up for more news. I heard that some red material are too making appearance through those images. I thought loud, they must be blood!

Images are becoming live!

God is really wealthy here in this town. Within one year we have now two large temples. Cost of construction of each is above $10 million. The management did not have to borrow and they are stashed with money and running profitable business of God's holiness. The management committee are stuffed with finance, medical, management professionals. They designed many service packages and products what ever be your belief and problem. Problem solution amount vary to accommodate any purse. The amount you pay is tax free. The priests are sponsored and come from south of India. They also go home to home to do Puja at residence. They also sell franchise to establish new temple venture. They shall perform all the miracles till you have a settled business and rolling in money. Some of my acquaintances are in management committees.

Dr. Samajhdar's home is on the way to become pilgrimage with Images coming live!

I am no more

I can do no wrong - I am never right

While everyone can be everything, I have an unending list of what I can’t be. I shall list only 10. That is quite a handful but surely anyone shall know me.

1. 1.      I can’t be all
   2.      I can’t be nothing
   3.      I can’t be more
   4.      I can’t be less
   5.      I can’t be present
   6.      I can’t be absent
   7.      I can’t be everywhere
   8.      I can’t be anywhere
   9.      I can’t be touched
   10.   I can’t be free
   
   I can't be some
   I can't be covered

Dang DanG DANG – all bells and whistles and safety measures dropped - wardrobe malfunctioned - I am permanently exposed as I am under million suns' fountain light

I can never do wrong - I am never right

please listen

Olden days I composed epics, singing them away to streams winds wings and clouds to be spread over distant lands and distant times that I would not travel and generations I would not reach and languages I would not speak.

All heard them in their own home; sang them as their own words in their own tongues; sang them in their own melodious voices, and felt them in their hearts with hairs rising ~ effortless.

I am the great...grand...master bard composer of lives from Akasha to Akasha.

I let in a simple thought in my mind - that slowly spreads through my body - trillion zillion cells play the same simply, the only way they know that to play.

The symphony fills the sky; drenches the atmosphere with delights and feelings that lasts for ages till reverberations and echoes leave and at long last ~ silence.

My music traveled through the world from sky to sky.

(no more thought to play no more character to create) 
silence ~ wordless noiseless limitless ~ continuous ~ original ~ endless

melody never sung is in the air now

please listen 

......

my timeless melodies swim to distant shores in ageless silence

the fog

No piece of writing is worth reading unless there is some truth in it.

Contrary to belief, all writings are true including mine, even if it is totally fictitious about place people or events that never existed, their composition can’t happen or paradoxical!

A coin with birth mark of 356 B.C. is real – in all its incarnation in physical form mental form and story form!

How could this possibly true?

Nothing in this world can be otherwise – it has no option to be otherwise.

One can spend one’s life time squeezing any amount of juice out of anything and enjoy the same; all the perspectives are real and enticing AND none of it can be altered or be otherwise!

Two born separate totally unaware of the others existence a moment back can remain fused for life time as inseparable partners.

How could they do it? [They had no option!]

Human do it. No amount of squeezing makes the any dry or dead. Juice just keeps on flowing even in the middle of Sahara or Mars!

If you have not got it till now and bewildered about what I am talking; you smell there is some truth in my words!

However what I am saying is beyond words – one can see nothing but truth in every moment of one’s life and that is unalterable – it is not because I am saying it but it is brought to your attention by someone so that you had no option but see it!

This is the act of the master designer - the maker of you. Furthermore, the master did not stop after creating you – it is keeping you enticed every moment of your life – you are under its spell with uninterruptible supply of juice!

This fog of opium is permanent.

How to see nothing

Water composition I am told has two parts Hydrogen and one part Oxygen – both being elementary particles meaning thereby – it is the stable form to coexist as they are in normal temperature and pressure [NTP] in the surface of earth.

The building block of life, cells, need lot of it to carry food that is hydro-carbon to exist (not breakdown) and multiply. Water is color less, heavy enough to move down hill to reservoir on earth surface and light enough to travel upwards and move as cloud as directed by winds and distribute the same in the hills and land in upper terrain.

All these happen automatically in this earth, a gas ball with non-gaseous core, warmed by Sun, cooled by earth rotation (night), illuminated even when it is dark by light reflected by moon. Stability of earth is not threatened for some billion years now. We, humans, came into being not before 10,000 years but emerged as dominant species in earth. We are fast learner and we developed effective means to transfer knowledge.

I am no scientists to explain past or create future. I am only making an attempt to appeal to see the truth that is present only being absent. This Truth alone has that property and no other entity in perceptible universe [even for non-earth beings of any other composition or principles of stability from physics or chemistry under different NTP].

I am not predicting or preventing future for terrestrial or extra-terrestrial entities of consciousness.

I know human being has the capacity or consciousness to perceive and realize truth – I am not sure about any other terrestrial organisms that have the sensitivity to perceive the same – if they do – they do naturally without efforts; while modern human needs to make significant efforts to perceive and realize truth, given the level of sophistication we have introduced in our daily living.

Our knowledge is driving us to activity always and this knowledge is entirely hypothetical. We distort reality and perceive hypothesis in the guise of reality and then apply the knowledge. We known this; but have not been able to build any immunity from our knowledge acquired through reading listening and experiment. Knowledge is part and parcel of our daily living. We are programmed robot. We imagine devil in our shadow and shoot at the same. We imagine God in devil and worship the same. We imagine life in dead and immortalize the same.

Unwinding, deprogramming or simplification of our daily living is difficult but required. Perhaps it is the hardest task for an individual belonging to any community. But it is worth knowing 'what is what'. This knowledge irreversibly brings about a change in a being; that is permanent.One is present being absent!

My readers know me from my writing. It is impossible to know me otherwise since I am absent and always been so. Similarly, it is possible to be conscious of one’s consciousness even though the same is absent in the outside world and it is always so. With consciousness only we are aware of our surroundings. It is always present in human being even though it can't be seen.

I have been to zoo and watched some species. I have seen Guerrillas conscious but absent. I have seen Tortoise many centuries old underwater with algae in its eye lids and many hours so without surfacing. I have seen pythons, alligators, and fishes conscious without any sign of life.

Water is colorless and tasteless. It is possible to make it tasty and colorful. We drink tea and coffee but stratum is water that has no appearance. Consciousness too has no appearance but because of its presence alone we can be conscious of our surroundings.

How does one become conscious of one’s consciousness?

How to make a cup of tea water again?

Add a cup of tea to a tank full of water.

The cup of tea is forever lost!

Our conscious civil living needs simplification or dilution till one is aware of one’s consciousness.

Consciousness is the only inexhaustible and time invariant, inherent in all organisms born without exception.

In the complement

Only a few days back I had the capacity to write in black and white – few bold strokes here and there – a few words from my limited vocabulary – a dozen or more sentences – I could write a complete novel in less than thousand words. I could even draw a painting in all colors that about time line couple of million years ago and ending couple of million years hence. A few days back a certain transformation has started in me. I am beaten with a bug from complementary universe. It has happened when I was away in the complement. I would make no effort to make you understand what I am talking about. It is either out of your reach or you already understand. Never the less, all the words here are chosen with great deal of thoughts – you must not attempt to replace or change any; nor would you try to correct any mistake that you notice. You may do so but then you shall never understand what I am talking about. I am talking about truth that never changes ever in the time line past present or future. All understand and know except humans.

It is important more important than life. Only a few days back my words had colors and full of meanings. They had possibilities and future. They could dance in your mind and in my mind too. I could bloom flowers in the desert and blow gentle breeze in suffocating blast furnace city without power and give glimpse of God that could make my life or your life permanently divine with a flick of my little finger. I had the entire control of the universe in my left palm and I could create any event anywhere with swipe, flick, or stroke with any of my right fingers.

I have lost my divinity – a simple bite of a bug from complement!

I do not know what has happened all the colors and realities I am creating no sooner they appear they start disappearing in thin air!

I am ghost now I sadly realize and I do not know when I died.

I can’t be same again!

Where is me?

As a child I have been fond of sports. I loved swimming. In fact I participated in an inter school competition for sprint. I enjoyed games in a relaxed space but not in competition. I played chess for many hours in my college, enjoyed doing chess puzzles but could not take it up that seriously to mug up all the openings by reading books and playing with myself. I did not have that ambition to top the world. Again in studies too I was not competitive that I have score above anybody or top the class. I did whatever I could do naturally first time and till I enjoyed it.

Why this elaborate introduction? I am watching London Olympics about two hours last few nights and not every day. I am not so hell bent to subscribe to some channel to watch it. I do enjoy but not so much that I must. Somehow I do not appreciate; I can’t appreciate the animal spirit to win somehow and anyhow. I can’t say that those who do are not happy or satisfied or unfilled. I may be rationalizing my inferiority.

I do not watch cricket or football or for that matter any other games. I do not read stories either. Although I carry some books always, but may not touch them for many days. What about going places and seeing places. I go places but do not see much.

I have ceased to be interesting. Weekly I have to make driving for about 15 hours. It often is an effort since I get terribly sleepy but don’t like to stop to sleep and I hate driving when it is dark. I do not know if others do the same I thought about the inhabited island that I live alone. My island of birth and banishment for life there, is devoid of people; furthermore it is devoid of plants rock water or any diversity. It is made of fine sand of same color, that has no memory. I can’t make any foot print. It gets lost as soon as I have made it. I never know if I am going in circles. I have tried to build many castles and populated them with people and characters. I created diversity and surroundings with heaven and earth, gardens, springs and fountains, azure sky and indigo sea and green fields. For a while I wrote poem and sat in the surroundings thus created and read them loud to my eternal love my companion inseparable. I spent hours in silence looking at her eye. I have imagined my death in this heaven and felt the sorrow of separation from my love for ever. It is unbearable.

I had been born the same. What more can I ask? I sit still. I see all disappear before me sublime leaving nothing not even memory. Where am I?

Startled, I nervously look around – did I sleep off, am I on the road! I pinch myself hard. I turn the volume louder. I look at my GPS, and wonder will I make it home this time?

Dream comes true

There was a bank transfer - it is quite a huge number. I have mixed feelings though -

worried about my taxes - how to avoid them. I am worried for another reason.

It is anonymous source of fund. I may be asked to explain - why did I make my bank

details public. I only advertised in Craigslist to sell my twelve years old Dinning Table and

chairs.

Let me go to sleep. Tomorrow I shall have to open many CD accounts in as many banks and

transfer $250000 in each.

A very busy day ahead. My business shall multiply if more such transfer takes place in future.

Haiku in Prose

Long ago I read a story.

It is about a collection who are unemployed and their status may not change. They have no

activity but have time. They spend day time playing cards. They don't have money to make it

interesting they use matchsticks instead.

In a lonely abandoned bridge they gather in the evenings to straighten their minds and enjoy

the emptiness of life and surroundings - dark starlit sky and earth below.

They share the same cigarette passing it around - they have nothing else to share.

In the dark, one of them brought out a cigarette and tried to lit the same.

He tried with several match sticks but did not succeed.

Silence followed, then one spoke, "some among us is using match sticks with mud tip."

A grain in sand scape

After becoming nothing, I have started talking in the most beautiful manner

about nothing in many words. In my solitary prison, I cry HU HU, and write whatever

without error whatever my fingers punches; whatever I write - is language and I can't store.

Curiosity Rover in Mar too can't store. It has no option but send whatever that may be - low

resolution - black and white even if it is photograph of Pasadena CA, its birth place

and home town. Whatever it sends is beautiful and without option to be otherwise.

Distance in between filters whatever needs to be filtered since human being is not adult enough

for viewing XXX Movie. But it has to send and so am I. Its search is limited by 150 miles radius

till it breaks down or out of energy. My search is limited by Google. Both of us are writing for

terrestrial consumption to liberate 6 plus billion humans in this lonely planet at the

outer edge of milky way.

I may be considered already success I have been able to liberate two - at least one surely and

I can't mistake. One has already opted out of my mailing list. My wise and beautiful words shall

not reach them.

The place I am located - I have already described - it is all sand - same color -

same size and memory less. I tried to create any number of impression - as soon as I am done -

it is just not there. Here I can't go on in circles or straight lines or triangles and I shall never

know. I can't make foot print. I may search my memory all my time and I shall never know.

My pictures are all low resolution - I draw with all colors but what reaches anyone in the lonely

planet of 6 billions I would not know. I only come to know when one is liberated. I am separated

from the lonely planet by unbridgeable distance and a demon called God almighty it filters

whatever it pleases.

Once I wrote a million pages long epic story of million love and love making

with beautiful paintings of beautiful girls all smiling - handsome torso of strong and gentle boys

- the demon filtered everything but for nails and teeth and as for words everything but articles

- a an the.

I do not know what shall reach you from this time in low resolution - all because of that brainless

peon - call it by any name - almighty or demon or god - that occupies the vast space between you

and me. I have to write as fast as I can - I have to rush it through this only Peon since my birth

place and the island of domicile is memory less. I shall never know what beautiful words I just thought.

I write about TRUTH.

And TRUTH only.

I can't write anything else.

Truth is that the island inconceivably vast unlimited memory less and of same color and I live alone.

Every moment as soon as born in this island becomes another grain of sand of the same color. Each sand is indestructible although it is a moment only and past as soon as it is born and adds only to the vastness.

I take any one grain of this sand - I look at it closely - I see a moving episode of all color - a reality - a love - a living - an ecstasy - a grief - a frustration - a deception that touches my heart so much that I lose consciousness and the awareness of the sandscape that surrounds me. I cry out loud - "Why this deception Why this Killing Why this Pain - Why the reality could not be otherwise - a story of joy and sharing! Why human being is inhuman!"

Truth can't be otherwise.

Might of Gmail

The last two transmissions from Curiosity Rover did not come and swallowed by the God almighty - Gmail.com. This is my third try.

Gmail decided to eat away doing the great service. I know they have no pretension to keep my privacy and not read all my emails. Additionally they have informed me that they shall deliver from my email boxes whenever I search Google. In the last few days, I have been informed by all my banks one after another, they can't promise my privacy and they have every right to explore all details anywhere in the world without taking any permission from me since I have an account with them.

I do not get upset. All the hypocrisy to respect my privacy has ended by all authorities - private public government or corporation. I am Bin Laden waiting to be discovered and killed.

I knew it was coming - I preserve my identity and virginity irrespective of how many times I am bloodied in public being a perpetual idiot and a drop out.

This is what I wrote in one:

Waiting for my car at body shop I picked up a Time from side table.

I stopped reading and subscribing to magazine - time news week national geography scientific american or any other. Ever since I discovered me an Idiot I do not any more subscribe to any knowledge however current. Some still come but they go straight to garbage unopened.

Knowledge and I are incompatible.

I flip the cover of Time, in the first page, in the right hand corner there was small photo of Ray Bradbury in an arm chair surrounded by books. I knew Ray has died in June, a terrific loss for Americans, whom most Americans have not read.

There were a few sentences on Bradbury and most of them I did not know. I am not surprised. One, he did not go to college. Two, he did not drive. Three he learnt from reading Heinlein and some other SF writer (Lovecraft?). Then he said something about Norman Mailer - 'if he is reading my book then I have to rethink about writing' ... or something equally strange. But the last what he said took my breath away - 'I am not capable of predicting future and I write about preventing future.'

Yet something was left to be heard from the dead man, 'I believe the outer space is the projection of Inner space'! But this I knew already ever since 'The Illustrated Man' was written in my mind.

The other one is reflection of achievements in OOOOO of a nation of 1.25 billion. It is good job done by Gmail preventing its dispatch.

Martingale

The reason I have to be silent: I simply do not know what is good and what is bad; I am not intelligent enough.

The reason I do not have to be silent: I simply do not know; it is best to express so instead of erroneously guiding any. There is no way to express my ignorance but via language when I am no more.

I am no lover of democracy in whatever form. I am not fond of autocracy by any norm.

Had I been living in India and in Bengal, how would I have behaved?

In the same way, I am behaving now wherever I am now – an isolated island unknown in universe and can’t be seen or located by any sensor however intelligent and sensitive! This island is memory less as much as it is not life supporting.

Memory less ness (property) evoked some memory – that of Martingales.

Now again I shall be a talking idiot since I don’t know.

In probability, martingales are games – no amount previous playing, practice or experience would help you to develop any winning strategy or increase your chances winning martingales. They are not what another Statistician, Bays, in a previous generation thought – knowledge or experience increase your chances of winning.

What do I know about martingales?

I know almost nothing. I could go no beyond its definition. I told my teacher that I too am memory less – you may derive or go on teaching but I would never learn about martingales unless – I am someone or something.

I am memory less and an idiot. All my experiences even if I gather knowledge and keep them under my finger tip via internet google or amazon and cloud, my chances of winning is O nor can I improve upon my chances.

Before I truly recognized myself as an idiot, however I went around and drank knowledge of esoteric think tanks and assumed many theories and logic. I assumed infinity, I assumed Axiom of choice, rules of logic, and rules of counting and numbers of various kind with many properties and their languages. At the end I realized I do not have enough intelligence to know and be proficient in any of these languages.

Is my life a martingale?

I create worlds and they vanish as soon as I am finished.

I have liberated three so far. I am finite and I can only decrease! I am a success when I reach O. Nothing to do thereafter - not even write.